Loss

There is only one true expert who helps us with our grief.

A close friend passed away recently. I had known her since the mid-seventies. She was a dear, precious person, an encourager and a mentor. Today her daughter wrote about her on Facebook.

How I understand that daughter’s pain! Of all the losses in life, losing my mom was by far the hardest. She left us in May of 2012. We had 83 years with her. In my opinion she left way too soon. I am nearing 71 years of age and I still miss Mommy every day. The valuable life lessons she taught me are sweet reminders of how very glad I am to have had the privilege of being her daughter. She was a pleasant, quiet woman. She lived a simple, quiet life. Her absence however is a bit loud.

Loss. It joins us all together. Every human has, or will, in their lifetime, experience loss of some kind. Merriam Webster defines loss as “the act or fact of being unable to keep or maintain something or someone”.

Loss comes to us in many forms. The death of someone we care about is the most familiar. Our reaction to loss is called grief - deep sadness or sorrow. The list of losses that cause grief is long. It includes moving or retiring, divorce or other changes in relationships, losing a job or a change in our financial status, children leaving home, a miscarriage, aging or changes in our health status, losing a pet, being robbed of possessions, and even selling a long-owned vehicle. I have personally experienced most of these.

The loss of anything to which we have been emotionally connected can cause us to grieve. Grief can affect our emotions, our thoughts, our physical condition and our behavior. And it is an important element of our journey to healing. Grieving is personal and not the same for everyone. There are no deadlines to come to the end of it. My father-in-law lost his wife of more than forty years to cancer. He remarried and, though he was many years into his second marriage, he always wept when he spoke to me about his Polly, his first wife, his first love.

Experts who have studied the grief process have discovered that most people experience certain stages as they grieve no matter what loss they have suffered. It might help to learn what these are and the suggested methods that may help us get through them. However, grief is so personal. We don’t all always react or respond in the same way or in the same time frame.

There is one “expert” Who knows everything about us, including how we will respond to grief. He truly understands our disappointment, pain and sorrow when we lose something or someone that we have enjoyed and loved. In His Word we will find several truths that will help and encourage us as we navigate the process of recovery from loss.

God is always near, especially when we are hurting. Our God will never leave us alone in our suffering. He is a compassionate God Who desires to see us healed and returned to wholeness.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (Psalm 34:18)

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)

God expects and understands our grief and wants to comfort us in it. Recovering from losing something or someone is a growing process. The goal is not to “get over it”. Instead, we need to begin to learn to live life in the new way the loss has created.

God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. (Matthew 5:4)

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

God will give us strength when we feel like we cannot go on. When we are experiencing loss we can feel too weak to move forward on our own. That is when we can trust in God’s strength and the strength of those who are close to us until we can continue on our own.

This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. (Psalm 73:26)

God will help us to manage our confusing thoughts. We often try to figure out the “why” of our circumstances when we encounter painful suffering. We can find true peace in remembering how good He is and how much He loves us.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace,

which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

God is the source of the hope that we will find joy and peace again. I promise you one day the pain will not be so severe. We do learn to smile and enjoy life again.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

I don’t like loss. I don’t like the challenge of having to live without something or someone. I will never forget the day my daddy put me on his knee and told me that my little kitty, Ezekiel (Zekey), had died when someone accidentally hit him with their truck. I had searched my mother’s Bible to find a proper biblical name for Zekey. I was so sad.

That was a good many years ago. My earthly daddy is gone now as well. But that example showed me that I can depend on my Heavenly Daddy to be just as near and just as concerned when He sees me suffering. Psalm 30:5 reminds us that “weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning”. (Read the whole Psalm! It will comfort you.)

My dear friend, if you are in the dark night of loss, call out to your Father in Heaven. He loves you. He understands you. He wants to comfort you. He will hold you as long as it takes. And I will be praying for you.

Sending thoughts and hugs