Kids spell "Love" T-I-M-E

Three steps to creating more time in your week

Our family loves Taco Tuesday. It isn’t complete without guacamole! The seven-year old decided he wanted to be the one to make the guacamole. I agreed to show him how, and since I was browning the ground beef, he retrieved all the ingredients as I called them out.

I started talking through the steps to making world-famous guac as I was moving about the kitchen grabbing utensils, wiping the counter, and shoving dirty dishes into the sink, all the while explaining and using lots of words. There must have been something in my tone and my body language, for the little guy began to hang his head and back away from the counter. Of course, I instantly became frustrated and started speaking in an accusatorial manner, “What’s going on? Don’t you want to do this? I thought you wanted to learn something new? Get back over here!”

He hesitated for a second, but then lifted his chin and looked me dead in the eyes. “Mom,” he challenged, “I hate it when you hurry. It makes me feel like everything is not ok and you’re upset.”

Pow! That hit me like a ton of bricks. I was indeed hurrying to get dinner on the table, but in my fervor to reach my goal, I had stomped on his.

He wanted to learn a new skill. He wanted me to be the person to teach him. To him, this was a sacred moment, an occasion to step into a new level of awareness and capability, of service to our family, and an opportunity to spend one-on-one time with mom.

One of my dear friends, who is also a mom to a passel of children, always reminds me that kids spell love T-I-M-E. Different kids have different love languages, but what child doesn’t want their parents to spend time with them?

This is an ongoing struggle. Busy moms with any number of kids are always going to find it difficult to devote time to each child. I’m no expert at it, but I have given much thought to this issue, and I’ve come up with three steps to gaining more time and guarding it well:

1. Eliminate. Get rid of the non-essential. Remove anything unnecessary or superfluous. This could mean clutter in your home, relationships that drain you, time on social media, or even worthy volunteer activities. When we give our time and energy to people, places, and things it does not need to be, we will not have the time and energy to put towards the things to which God has called us. Are you dilly-dallying on fruitless things?

2. Anticipate. Moms have developed the ability to foresee. For example, potty accidents happen, so we pack our preschoolers an extra change of clothes. This idea can be taken further so we are able to live with a bit more margin. Rather than letting life happen to us, we can take authority over life. This means being responsible with money. It means planning ahead for meals by putting something in the crockpot in the morning, or even filling the freezer with oven-ready meals. It means facing hard things and having tough yet necessary conversations. I’m talking about being proactive across the board so you don’t fall victim to the troubles of life that will come upon you. You don’t have to be surprised.

3. Concentrate. Stop flummoxing and start focusing. Get crystal clear about what God has called you to do and then do that with all of your might. Be obedient to Him. Master what is before you. Keep the primary tasks central. We are meant to assume command over what’s given to us and do an outstanding job at it.

Have you ever seen the movie The Incredibles? It’s an animated film about a family of superheroes. The dad, Bob, aka, Mr. Incredible, is distracted because he wants to relive his glory days. When he sneaks away to a secret mission, he is led to believe his wife has died. It is only then that he realizes what was most important to him had been available to him the whole time. He missed out on a beautiful and satisfying life because he refused to let go of the past, be proactive about the future, and focus on what was right in front of him. As it turns out, his wife was actually very much alive, and they go on to save the world together with the help of their children, and Mr. Incredible finds more fun, meaning, and love than ever before. It’s a great movie, and I love its message. It gives a wonderful picture of the three steps above.

Spending time with our children, helping them learn new skills, guiding them, discipling them, and simply enjoying them is a privilege and a blessing, but I believe it’s also a mandate. 1 Samuel 2 tells the story of Eli the priest who was punished for not stopping his sons in their sin. The Bible tells us to direct our children (Proverbs 22:6), teach them the Scriptures (2 Timothy 3:15-16), discipline them (Proverbs 29:15-17), set an example for them (Titus 2:6-7), and provide for them (2 Corinthians 12:14). How can we do all of these things if we are not spending time with our children?

I am in no way trying to heap guilt on anyone or make you feel bad about taking time for yourself. Not at all. I do lots of things without my kids. I am trying to encourage you that spending generous amounts of time with your kids is worthwhile and beneficial for you both. They will be blessed by your influence and you will be blessed because they are unique gifts from God.

See if you can eliminate, anticipate, and concentrate, even in just one area. Squeeze a little more time out of your week and the results will be multiplied. God is able to take our small offering and bless it - big time! (John 6:1-13)