What Difference Does Knowing Jesus Make?

Get real, be vulnerable, and experience abundant living

It was a Wednesday and one of my children had an early morning doctor appointment. Afterward, the kids and I ran errands around town. We arrived home, grabbed lunch, cleaned the fish tank, and I made a grocery list. By one o’clock, I was back at the same doctor with an emergency for a different child. Thankfully, the crisis averted, I got back on track and started for the grocery store. I felt rather droopy so I decided to stop at Starbucks for a quick caffeine jolt to assist me in making it through the rest of my day. The woman behind me in line kindly informed me I had my shirt on inside out.

Seriously?! Nobody in my life or at any of the other establishments I had visited that day let me know? Whatevs. I went into the bathroom to turn the top right side out, grabbed my cuppa, and marched forward. Got the groceries put away, mowed the lawn, made dinner, spent 40 minutes on hold with the internet service people, bathed the kids, got everyone tucked in with stories and lullabies, then I headed into my bathroom to ready myself for bed. In the bathroom, I found a mound of leaves on the floor (Why in the world…?), a kitten tearing up the toilet paper, and a lump of homemade slime on the bristles of my toothbrush (Ew.). I simply turned and walked out. “I’ll just lay down for a rest,” I thought. But when I approached my bed, I found the piles of folded laundry that never got put away. I sighed. I began to feel tears stinging my eyes, but I didn’t even have the energy to feel sorry for myself. All I could think about was how the to-do list was growing and the hours in the day seemed to be shrinking. It had already been one heck of a week and today was the final straw. With one arm swoop, I pushed the laundry onto the floor and flopped, fully clothed, onto the bed. I fell asleep instantly.

Somewhere around 3am I woke up to pee, and realized my shoes were still on my feet. As I removed them, the events of the day came flooding back. I thought about how my life felt chaotic and overwhelming. I wondered if there was even any meaning to the busy-ness. “How important am I if all I do is errands and cleaning? What’s the point to all of this? I’m not having any fun, I can’t get myself together, and I often take out that frustration on my family.”

Then I thought, “How does knowing Jesus truly make any difference in my life?

I’m a Christian so isn’t my life supposed to be glowing with ease and joy and peace?”

Then, of course, guilt made an appearance in the background because I dared to even consider that perhaps knowing Jesus made no difference whatsoever. After all, I was struggling with all the same mom-issues every other stay-at-home-mom deals with, of every belief system.

I love reading about David in the Bible. He’s one of my favorite characters. I mean, come on! He’s a handsome musician, whose courage and spunk outshines that of any of his peers. He’s known for his leadership, fearlessness, tenacity, yet also tenderness. He did some bad things too. He made some terrible choices that we would certainly judge our friends for if they acted similarly. I actually love reading those parts too because they make this hero so relatable. He was a king who had fame, wealth, and admiration, but struggled with all the normal range of human thoughts, emotions, and mistakes.

What made David a man after God’s own heart was that he was in constant contact with God. They had a real relationship. David was a 24/7 worshipper. He loved the presence of God and he wasn’t afraid to give God his whole heart. He had no pride before the Lord, no walls, and no pretending. He wasn’t scared of making mistakes. It’s like he had no pretense, He wasn’t willing to put on a charade for fear of chastisement or not appearing righteous enough or like he had it all together. He experienced life with all intensity, full of emotion. He mourned and grieved when there was a death, even of his enemies. He danced and rejoiced boldly when he was happy. He experienced anger, frustration, elation, jealousy, stress, loneliness, serenity, awe, and especially disgust at his own sin.

Unlocking the secret to a life of purpose and joy is actually not difficult at all, nor is it hidden. The Bible tells us to be vulnerable before the Lord (1 John 1:9, Psalm 139:1-2, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Psalm 51:6 TPT says, “I know that you delight to set your truth deep in my spirit. So come into the hidden places of my heart and teach me wisdom.” Allowing Him to know us intimately is the key to the life of our dreams.

Being totally exposed before God, like David was, is completely safe. God never shames us or tells us we are not worthy. We can be completely raw and honest with our Creator, and He responds with unconditional love. We can pour our hearts out to HIm and He accepts us. When we get rid of all hesitation and remove any mask, He is there ready to give us wisdom and tender kindness. He made us who we are, so we are incapable of surprising Him. Because of David’s willingness to admit his shortcomings, flaws, and failures (let’s call it what it is: sin), God used him to do great things.

It seems that if I am living at that David-level intensity with God, the purpose and importance of life is made clear. When I withhold half of myself from God, and operate as if I’m trying to do all I can in my own strength to reach perfection, is when I fall apart. My grappling with getting my kids to behave or become a better housekeeper is useless until I let go of all my own expectations and be authentic. Dissatisfaction with my performance in my mom-career will take over my heart if I let it.

But I have the privilege of being absolutely sincere before El Shaddai, the All-Sufficient One, and letting Him flood me with His expectations. He can take all my coarse emotion, blunders, and lapses in judgement and use them for His purposes. He will help me from becoming distracted by all the pandemonium. It is my goal to stop presuming Jesus will fit into my agenda, but rather to lean into Him, hear His voice, obey His Word, to make decisions as He leads, and live a lifestyle of constant worship.

Does this mean the bathroom will always be clean and I will always put my clothes on the right way? No, but it does mean I will begin to find that ease and peace and joy I so long for. It means He will shine through me and I can experience abundant living. (John 10:10) I haven’t been called to a run-of-the-mill life but an extraordinary one. This is the difference knowing Jesus makes in my life.